Never Thought I'd Say This...

... but I would rather teach junior high than kindergarten. Who knew? I had a truly horrifying day in a kindergarten classroom on Monday and I shall not be returning. Ever. In fact, I might have to turn down jobs for first grade classrooms as well. I just can't babysit 25 - 5 year olds at the same time for an entire day. Tomorrow I get to spend half the day as an elementary school music teacher. I got a shot at this last week. It's not my fav but it's better than having the tiny kiddos all day long : )

Keep Moving Forward.

Good morning. I haven't blogged in a while and figured this was as good a time as any. I'm currently substitute teaching in a high school social studies classroom. The students are watching a film called The Atomic Cafe. I've seen it before and I don't much like watching the images of the damage created by the nuclear bombs so I'm trying to block it out. I'm glad that I got called this morning to work because the pay is quite nice but... I'm feeling a little complainy about it at the same time. It's hard to get your day started right when you get a wake up call at 6:20am saying you need to be at work in exactly 25 minutes especially when you were sleeping quite nicely and had absolutely no intention of working today. Sigh. I seriously took a 30second shower (it may have been less), got dressed, dried my hair (most of the way), brushed my teeth, grabbed my laptop and dashed out the door. Of course, I was greeted by an icy windshield -- blast the heat to 82, roll the windows down and use the windshield wipers -- I was on my way.

Did I mention I'm kind of afraid of the high school students? Because I am. I feel like I look young enough to practically be in high school and most of the students are just as tall as me if not taller so I don't even have that advantage to work with. I just feel like they can see right through me and they totally know that I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I know how students treat substitutes and that's why I always said I would never be one, but here I am. I was in the library with the first period class this morning and I was thinking how strange it was that the students seemed bored to tears and could hardly wait for their high school careers to be over and yet I came back to high school voluntarily! How ridiculous is that? It all seems a little backwards to me.

Being a sub really isn't what I signed up for when I decided to get my teaching certificate. It's lacking everything that I value in the teaching profession! You don't get to develop relationships with the students, your impact is minimal, you don't get to see them learn and grow as individuals... I feel awkward and uncomfortable. I'm just here to babysit. Sometimes I got to put in a movie, sometimes I get to pass out a worksheet, that's about it.

Everyday is a new job with a new building, new schedule and a new set of students. I never know if I'm going to get to work. The kids roll their eyes when they walk in and see their teacher is absent. This does not make me feel loved. The job is very unfulfilling. BUT it's a job and in many aspects it's quite an easy job and it pays a lot better than most part-time jobs do. So that's all good, PLUS I have gotten to sub in Tara's cooking class a few times and one day we got to make chocolate chip cookies, so that was really fun AND last week I got to sub for the kids I had last year when I was an intern and it was so much fun to be with them! It made all the difference in my day that I actually knew their names and I was familiar with the school and I know the teacher and he left me proper sub plans and fun, interesting, productive things to do and I know loads of other people who work at the school so I had plenty of people to say hi to. I feel like I belong there. I like to be comfortable. I like for things to be familiar. Basically, I'm just not doing a great job of having a positive attitude... I need to work on it. I usually get to sub 2 days a week, just enough to get me out of the house a bit and put a little money in savings : )

I've also gotten to do quite a bit of babysitting recently, so that's good news. Actually, I really appreciate how much people have been calling me for babysitting jobs. In the past, I used to look at babysitting as if I was doing the parents a favor by giving them time away from the kids but now, I really just feel like they're helping me out. And it's wonderful. I'm also having a lot of fun being at home with Mom and Tara. So that's good too!

The wedding plans are going well. I have my dress (check), location (check), caterer (check), DJ (check). Lots of big things have been taken care of so that's definitely positive.

Sorry for the little complainy session... I just needed to send that out into the void. It made me feel better somehow : )

Thanks for putting up with it!
Steph

I Said Yes, Obviously.

Steven and I have been (happily) engaged for exactly (pretty much to the minute) one week now : ) How crazy is that?? I can't believe it! I'll admit that I was expecting it sometime soon, in fact, we were already in the process of planning the wedding, but Steven totally took me by surprise!

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He could not have chosen a more perfect day and when he suggested we go to Volunteer Park on Capital Hill to watch the sunset... well, I had no idea what was in store. I was certain he didn't have the ring yet so I was doing my best not to anticipate something that I didn't think would be coming so soon. We spent the afternoon playing Bananagrams in the Tea Cup and by the third round Steven's brain had "stopped working" so he suggested we head over to the park -- evidently his nerves were starting to have an impact on his spelling abilities, plus, little did I know, he had a schedule to stick to : )

As we walked through the park, I was a bit confused as to why we were walking away from what I thought would have been the perfect place to watch the sunset. Then, Steven kept suggesting we sit in the non-sunny places. And I was getting all whiny because I didn't want to sit in the shady spots... that would be my "princess complex" coming through -- I'm not always proud of it. Then he said, "Okay, well, I do have one more question for you..." my heart sort of skipped a beat and I got a little anxious but I think for half a second he wasn't quite sure this was the way he wanted to ask so he added "no, really. I have another question." And I think I got a somewhat exasperated look on my face thinking seriously?? What is he playing at here? And then he knelt down, pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him.

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Here's where our stories change a little bit: I would tell you he that he knelt down, asked me, I said yes, and then he popped back up and I kissed him and it all went by really fast. He would tell you that I didn't say anything at all but just smiled and sort of nodded a little bit and he had to give me a questioning look before I said "uh-huh!" Uh-huh? Eloquent. Is that really what I said?

Anyhow, I thought it was a total whirl-wind. Regardless, I gave a positive response of some sort and Steven stood up and kissed me and it was a lovely moment. I thought that was it. I was wrong.

All of the sudden there were seven ninjas running out of the woods (okay, small cluster of trees) at us. I was slightly perplexed. They threw a blanket down on the ground and set out a picnic basket and pulled out plates of cheese and crackers and a bag of m&ms and someone was lighting a candle and there was wine and someone pushed Steven back down on his knees and handed him a bouquet of flowers to give to me and rose petals were being thrown everywhere -- you can actually see them flying in the photo below. It turns out that when Steven was suggesting we sit in the not-so-sunny areas, he was really just trying to distract me from the clump of trees to make sure I didn't see any of the ninjas who were hiding there.

While all this was happening, I was just standing there. Staring. At one point I think I asked Steven if I should say hello to them and he told me that they weren't supposed to talk to me. I didn't want to get them in trouble so I didn't talk to them either : ) At this time I noticed Mandie taking photos from the trees where everyone had been hiding. I was so excited to see that she was taking photos!! There are so many cute pictures from our proposal and I feel like I'm very lucky to have them. She definitely caught some interesting emotions from me...

Here's a photo of our ninjas: Morgan, Kira, Michael, Charlie, Tim, Lena and Aaron. Thanks guys!!

As the ninjas retreated back into the woods Steven looked at me and asked "are you going to take the ring?" "Of course!!!" He had been holding it that whole time and I hadn't even gotten a good look at it! It fit perfectly and it's absolutely beautiful!! He chose it all by himself and I just love it!
Steven was still shaking as we sat down on our blanket. I don't know why he was nervous -- we had already chosen a date and I had already ordered my dress at this point, I think that means I'm pretty darn committed -- but I guess it was just a big surge of adrenaline.

I called my mom and a few other people who I thought should be the first to know and we spent a little bit of time with a few of our ninja friends before settling down onto our blanket. We sat and enjoyed our picnic until the sun had set and we were so cold that my fingers and toes were starting to hurt. I didn't want to leave! It was such a special time and I really didn't want it to end. Honestly though, I was plenty surprised and I couldn't have imagined a more perfect proposal. I just love Steven so much and I can't believe I have to wait six more months to be married to him! Really, it's far too long.

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From there, we went out for Thai food on lower Queen Anne and spent the rest of the evening calling everyone and sharing our good news. We even made a few surprise visits so that Hilde, Chelsea and Claire could be excited with us.

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And now, I have a wedding to plan... good thing I like lists : )

**For a better look at the photos check out my sisters blog
http://sindisiwephotography.com/blog/?p=430

Well Friends...

It's official.
Steven and I are engaged.

My ring is gorgeous -- and sparkly. I couldn't be happier.

Bananagrams in Berkeley.

(Should have written this a while ago -- I struggle with procrastination. Check in with Ellen DeGeneres. She can tell you all about procrastination.)

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A couple of weeks ago I went down to Berkeley, CA to spend the weekend with my beloved roommate -- Paige. Isn't she the greatest? I just love Paige.

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We had an absolutely marvelous time!! We did so many super fun things you just wouldn't believe it. Even if I told you, which I'm about to do. (Of course, Paige may very well be the only person who still reads this and there's a very good chance that she will believe me!)

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I arrived on Thursday and Paige picked me up from the Oakland airport. It was so great to see her!! We drove back to her home in Berkeley and I was so happy to be in her car -- a silly thing to be happy about really but Paige and I have spent so many hours together in that car and it was like my own little piece of home in this new city I had never even been to. We spent the evening hanging out with all six of Paige's roommates, eating chocolate cake (don't act so surprised -- this is Paige we're talking about. Chocolate just seems to find her.), and watching Ellen DeGeneres on DVD. We laughed a lot. It was during this time that we found our theme song for the weekend:

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Momma keeps whites bright like the sunlight,

Momma's got the magic of Clorox bleach!

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Sorry Paige! You probably just got that unstuck from your head. Anyhow, Ellen sang that song on the show and it was ridiculous and we were all singing it for the next three days straight.

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On Friday, I got to go see Paige's work. She is a full-time volunteer at a place that helps homeless and nearly homeless seniors. That's totally lacking in detail but, you can ask her about it. I met some of her coworkers and Paige and I served lunch together. After work we went to Fentons for ice cream! Yum!! And so cute! It's this ice cream shop slash restaurant and it's the same one that they go to at the end of the movie Up! Evidently the Pixar team always goes to Fentons after they finish a film or something like that so they decided to throw it into the movie. We shared some coffee-cookies-n-cream ice cream and it was a lovely little much needed roommate date.

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That evening, Paige and her roommates took me to this restaurant called The Cheeseboard. At that place they serve pizza and they only serve one type of pizza all day long but it changes everyday. The pizza is $2.50 a slice and they give you a little baby slice on top of the big one. The night we were there we had pizza with olive oil instead of sauce, pears, walnuts, gorgonzola cheese and mozzarella. Strange, but tasty. I also just really enjoyed the experience. You can tell it's totally a Berkeley hot spot -- it seems to be busy all the time. On the way back to the house we stopped for frozen yogurt. Paige and I shared raspberry and chocolate with pecans mixed in and it was delightful.

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On Saturday, we planned to spend the entire day in San Fransisco. We woke up super excited to see the sunshine coming in the windows -- it had been raining all week. We dressed all cute, packed a lunch, grabbed our cameras and drove into the city. The rain beat us to it. Fortunately, it was only sprinkling. We met Erica for breakfast at a cute little French cafe. It was so fun to see her and hear all about what she's up to in San Fran these days.

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We had planned many great things for after Erica went to work but the rain started coming down really hard and by the time we had walked through China town, we looked like we had taken showers fully clothed.

It was rather comical actually. At some point we stopped avoiding puddling and dripping eaves and we laughed the whole time. The best part was probably when a huge drop of water fell directly into Paige's eye and she squealed startling every pedestrian in China Town... I was amused : )
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We decided we had had enough of San Fransisco and as we drove back across the Bay Bridge, the sun came out. Figures. We'll win next time. We went back to the house and got all cozy and dry before heading out to do the grocery shopping. They have this really great shop called Berkeley Bowl. They have everything there. Including durian!!! Really, no one should have durian, it's unnecessary. Sometimes I see it at Uwajamia but the ones there are usually quite small. These ones were legit -- just like the ones in Singapore. Fortunately none of them were cut into so you couldn't really smell them too much.

Since the sun decided to come out for the last half of the day, Paige took me to Indian Rock to watch the sunset!

As Paige described it to me, Indian Rock is pretty much like the Kerry Park of Berkeley. It's the place to go for a really good view. It was really pretty and since the weather was nice, it felt good to just spend a little time outside.

I got a pretty decent view of the Golden Gate bridge. People always say that the Golden Gate bridge tends to be completely lost in the fog so I felt rather lucky. I got to see it a few times -- driving in and out of San Fransisco and then here from the park.

I liked the sitting-on-the-rock-watching-the-sunset experience. There were so many people there -- couples, families, friends -- and you could hear everyone talking but no one was self conscious about being so close to everyone else. Everyone was just sitting on the rock enjoying the same view but having their own individual experience. It was just a cool feeling I had while I was sitting there. Plus, Paige and I are really cute, so that's good too.

Saturday night was an evening spent watching Survivor -- Paige and her housemates have been getting the DVDs from Netflix. They were in the middle of season 2 when I arrived. We watched four episodes and probably would have continued watching if we had the other DVDs...

Sunday morning was super exciting!! We went to a Thai temple for brunch! It was pretty much the greatest!! You just go around to the back of the temple and they have all of this seating set up outside and then you go to this one tent and you give them money and they give you coins. So, I gave them $8 and they gave me 8 coins and then I took 7 coins to one of the food stations and got rice with phad thai, spicy green beans and yellow curry, and then I spent my last coin on a glass of Thai iced tea. We got two huge plates of food and a plate of dessert and Paige and one of her housemates and I shared all of it. It was SO GOOD and so fun and so special. It was just such a cool thing to do, I couldn't even believe it and it's probably good that I don't live there because I would want to go every week!!

Paige and I spent the rest of the day shopping, eating $1 ice cream cones from a place called John's and playing Bananagrams in a coffee shop with a couple of her housemates. Paige is fantastically good at that game -- I need some more practice. I still think it's great fun though.

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It was a wonderfully phenomenal weekend that went by far too quickly. I can't wait to go back for another visit!

Missing you Paige!!

The Plan... for now.

Well hello!! And happy new year. A new year. Wow. Ridiculous. Here I am. All graduated and back in the country and everything. I even moved back in with my mom, which has been absolutely lovely. I've been missing my blogging and I figured as long as I was awake, this was a perfect time for it.

Since I've been back I've been going through one of those phases where everyone keeps asking "So, Steph, what's your plan now?" Man. I am so tired of people asking!!! It's a fair question, I would be curious too, the problem is: I didn't have an answer! I got really good at just smiling and saying, "I don't know!" as if it's all just one grand adventure and I couldn't be happier that I don't have a plan. Wrong wrong wrong! I'm a plan girl and I need a plan so... now I kind of have one. I've been working really hard and getting things done and filling out applications and things are starting to come together.

First of all, I am all registered to start substitute teaching in the Northshore School District -- woohoo!! It's not my first choice of things to do but the extra experience would be excellent and, let's face it, I could use some kind of an income. I'll probably apply to sub with another district or two to give myself a better chance of getting work.

Secondly, I'm going to start selling Pampered Chef! Also very exciting. I love cooking/baking and I love kitchen things and I think it will be great fun. I ordered my stuff for it this weekend and I've got 4 parties lined up as of right now.

Thirdly, I'm working on getting some sort of an internship or something with an event coordinator. I had coffee one last week and she's hoping that maybe I will be able to work for her a little bit this spring and summer. I would really love to learn more about that industry and do some networking. I think I could be quite good at that planning slash coordinating stuff.

And finally, I am going to start getting to sleep earlier!!! I don't know what my problem is. I just can't get my brain to settle down, which is why I am typing this at 2am...

So that's the plan. At least for now. I'll keep you updated.

I'm home.

Does anyone still read this? I kind of figured that most people knew I was home... I still meant to update a while ago but things have been busy. Real busy. Good busy though. It's so nice to be home!! I'm not really doing much of anything productive but I'm just enjoying spending time with people and watching those last few Christmas movies before we pack them up until next year. I'm looking for a job... sort of. If you hear of any good opportunities, you should let me know : )

That's pretty much it for right now but maybe I'll continue to post something every now and then... it's kind of fun. Hope you had a very merry Christmas.